Bonus Blog

Just for a fun bit of insight I think it is worth sharing this information. For this most recent New Years celebration I decided to challenge my friends to come up with a list of things that had happened in the last year that were interesting and or what they never would have expected when the year started. I gave them my list which I will give you here and they all sat in near shock. I will also separate and include some for this current year. Only rule is no judgement.

2013
-Bought my first car on my own.
-Learned to drive stick shift
-Was hospitalized for the first time ever(Strep).
-Had my first/last street race.
-Got my first ticket/went to traffic court.
-Had my first truly committed relationship
-Had my first kiss
-Lost my virginity(yeah....)*
-Broke up with said girlfriend(later on..)
-Went to my only high school prom
-Danced on/got danced on nearly all my best friends(female)
-Danced on a teacher(long story)
-Graduated high school as one of only 11 with highest honors out of 300+*
-First time Smoking Marijuana*
-Got in my first wreck
-Learned to appreciate simple transportation
-Went off to college
-Made new best friends
-Took my first shots of Jack
-Drank my first beer
-had a hookup(never again)
-Was harassed by ex
-skipped my first class
-Randomly kissed a good friend from high school(spontaneous occurrence, female)
-Was randomly kissed by college friend(female)

2014
-Started my first college relationship
-Got my first tattoo(s)
-Paid $20 to see a concert with a washboard solo
-Went to my first college parties
-Enjoyed my first college spring break in a weekend
-Drank in a bar

*Denotes the occurrence happened in the same weekend as other * events.

I honestly put this out not to impress or make a name for myself, but more to be honest in what has happened in my life. 2013 was a wild and crazy year, as do most senior/freshman years tend to be. After that year I have nearly traversed and changed into a person who doesn't need such a wild life to have fun. At the time that most of this happened I in no way thought about how it all adds together. I was just living life to the freest of my capabilities, something I wasn't able to do before. Now that it is all said and done I am able to say I have but know that I am content with keeping it there. It is purely in the past.

Welcome To My Humble Abode

This blog was conceived for the purposes of fulfilling an assignment for my English class. I wanted something I could make mine and be proud of, and possibly even take to use for future referencing. I will most likely use this later on as a reference point for new comers to the person I find myself to be. So without saying much more, this blog is just that. Me. This blog gives any reader a glimpse into the life of Ethan Thomas Williams. This blog holds some very delicate information, and a world of weight in memories and thought. I am being as purely honest as possible in telling you every word of this. I just want you to have the chance to scare me in your understanding of me and all my quirks. You will learn I am truly a dork. I also have the mindset that some hipsters may wish they had. I love music. I love comedy. I love culture. And I love my friends the most in this world. I am a lifelong learner. I am by far not the most intelligent person, and I can guarantee you that I will never claim to be, but most of all I am just trying to be as real as I can. In a world diluted with illusions of discontent I want to offer everyone the friendship of someone who will be as honest and straight forward as possible. It is just the person I am. I hope you enjoy

#LeaveComments
#KeepItDope
#OpenDoor

Whole blog word count: 9516(not including titles and lyrics)
When it comes to personal, enjoyable writing for me when I just let it fly I will write for days.

Innovation At Its Finest

I am truly a fan of the arts. I also enjoy sports and other modes of entertainment depending on the circumstance. No matter the starting point I love and respect those who are innovative and multi-talented. The most prevalent innovation and talent I see usually involves the arts and music more specifically. Currently I watch those like Justin Timberlake, Dave Grohl, and Steve Martin. These three names have probably never been equated in such a way, but they all are deserving of such praise.
Justin Timberlake is the epitome of talent in modern popular culture. This performer started the ramen noodle haired boy band member and heartthrob of the 1990's and turned into worldwide superstar by today's standard. This man started in a vocal based pop group known as N'Sync and achieved heightened success into the early 2000's. During this time he went on to work by himself with producers to produce several hit songs that would earn him awards and hearts of fans. By the late 2000's, Justin had started to take on roles in several movies. In this new turn he achieved moderate credibility. Along with this he started taking guest spots on the beloved program Saturday Night Live. He earned himself a repeat role in several returning roles among the cast members. As well, he started his collaborations with the musical comedy group The Lonely Island here at SNL. All around Timberlake has proved his many assets he has to offer the performance world.
Next we have the powerhouse Dave Grohl. Dave Grohl was brought into commercial light during the 1990's as well with his offering to the band Nirvana, alongside Krist Novaselic and the great Kurt Cobain. here he solidified his talent on the drums as he was the recording artist for some of the groups more popular albums as well as during the tragic death of Kurt. After time off and following Nirvana, Grohl established the band Foo Fighters. He would eventually band together Alanis Morrisette's former drummer Taylor Hawkins, Sunny Day Real Estate's former bassist Nate Mendel, fellow Nirvana touring guitarist Pat Smear, and punk rocker Chris Shiflet. The Foo Fighters established Grohl's talent as a frontman and lead guitarist, as opposed to his role in Nirvana. He is truly a one man band. Here recently Grohl has rescued a piece of music history from possible destruction and inevitable dilapidation. grohl purchased a famous sound board and mixer from the famous Sound City Studio in California. He has then since installed this board in his own studio, Studio 606. This board is responsible for the sound quality of studio albums released by Fleetwood Mac, Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers, Rick Springfield, Ratt, Rage Against The Machine, Nirvana, The Pixies, and even Johnny Cash. This board is purely analog and requires tape to record. This is a dramatically different process than most commercialized music today undergoes. And with that process, Grohl is calling for an insurgence of musicians to look back and  consider the challenge of analog recording. Music is about to undergo a throwback to the way music should have stayed.

Lastly, I highlight beloved entertainer Steve Martin. Steve Martin is most famous for his early career at SNL as an original cast member. He was part of the, what is arguably, most influential team of comedic actors to greet TV airwaves. He joined such greats as Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, Gilda Radnor, and Bill Murphy. Both before and after his time at SNL, Steve had established his career as a wonderfully talented stand-up comedian. His routines combined regular versed comedy with the comedic aspect of banjo music. He entertained crowds across the nation and abroad with this act between his time on movie sets for years. And here recently he crossed more seriously into the music world. He no longer utilized the banjo for comical accompaniment, but more as a finely orchestrated melody maker. He took the Folk and Bluegrass world by storm here recently with his own band. Not only does he earn the credibility as being a righteous comedian, but also for being a overly talented banjo aficionado.

I am truly a sucker for cross overs and collaborative work. It is something that strikes such accord in me that I can only hope that I find myself one day in such a position. I find myself to show some moderate promise in many different performance areas. Music is truly an enjoyment of mine. I hope to find a group of people to share such a passion to collaborate one day with. As well, I hope I can further my horizons in stand-up comedy. I really enjoy writing material and putting it to practice. And writing...well through this blog you will learn I love writing. <--Maybe, just might be a bit of an understatement.

Spiced Up Life

In high school, a vast population of students in my school were Hispanic and/or Latin American. As well, some of my former coworkers were native Mexican. Prior to my schooling and working experience among this population of wonderful people, I will admit I was a typical uncultured and slightly racially challenged individual. I did not understand the struggle and trivial times that some go through to experience a life that I was merely just born into here in the U.S. I was unaware of the lives that these kids and hard workers had lived just to make being here possible. I was ignorant.
The more and more I got to know several fellow students in school I learned the hardship of obtaining citizenship, and the quest to arrive here. It is a miracle, alone, that I was able to meet these people. They truly showed me a reason to be proud of where I am from and what I have. They came here with nothing but themselves and started completely fresh. Meanwhile I am complaining about life being "hard." I had no clue.
Aside from the battle of simply getting here they also taught me something else. They taught me about their culture. This I especially learned from my coworkers. After I became more well acquainted with my coworkers Hilda and Lalo they taught me about the traditions they celebrate and keep alive with their friends and families. They commonly would invite me to come along outside of work to join them. I regret never taking them up on their offers. The accepted tradition of Cinco de Mayo and Dio de Los Muertos es  mas que is more than just a day to drink and eat. It is a day of true pride. U.S. Americans do not truly understand this. We celebrate July 4th more commonly as a way to get out of work and to cookout with loved ones. This is not the case for mis Hispanohablantes(my Hispanic cultured friends). They celebrate to bring alive the culture they are so proud to label themselves as. It is not just about be of Latin decent, it is about being proud of your specific culture and what makes you unique from everyone else in this world.
Although it probably violated some workplace health codes, Hilda would commonly try and teach me such dances as the raggaeton, bachata, and the salsa when we would get bored during our shifts. I had told her how I had studied such styles in music and that I understood the musical differences so she knew I could grasp the differences in movement in a possibly just as easy manner. She partly succeeded in doing so.
They exposed me to authentic cooking practices and recipes to traditional dishes that were customary for several popular holidays within the culture. This among the differences in religious practices which I also had a vast familiarity to, due to my Catholic upbringing. These among other things have only spread my love for Latin culture grow more immense.

Jose "Lalo" Cruz Ortiz: "Mexico es mi home. Mexico es where I go for happy. I want to be happy. I will always love my home. Never let go of your happy, your home."

Need To Know

I will put all of this out in the open. The following movies and books are some of my favorites. In order to really understand me you might should look into watching and reading these. My sense of humor comes partly from this. As well, my dark thought processing is all due to these. They aren't all dark, by any means, but I tend to look at them through a pair of shades. I highly recommend all of these titles.

Smokey And The Bandit
Wayne's World(1 & 2)
Walk The Line
Ray
Dead Poets Society
Saving Private Ryan
Blues Brothers
Drumline
Fast And The Furious: Tokyo Drift(Or any franchise title)
Undercover Brother
Gone In 60 Seconds
Forrest Gump
Law Abiding Citizen
Bill & Ted's Adventure(Excellent or Bogus)
007: James Bond(ALL)
Star Wars(ALL)

Choke
Fight Club
Catch-22
The Five People You Meet In Heaven
Tuesdays With Morrie
For One More Day
Have A Little Faith
The Time Keeper
Slaughterhouse-Five
Player Piano
The Last Lecture
Blink
Pedro Paramo
Kiss Of The Spider Woman
1984
Animal Farm
Brave New World
The Giver
Romeo & Juliet

P.S. Collages are fun to make digitally.

#DigitalGameCrazy

Laugh Err'Day

Laughing is the healthiest practice that I try to spread among those around me. And with the limits which we all face I figure I might as well utilize what skills I have. Therefore, I joke and kid to ease the pressures of everyday life from people. It is the most gratifying experience to have people laugh at your jokes and your gestures. As well, comedy with friends and family proved to be the best self esteem builder during my early adolescence.
I range my jokes from situational irony and puns to my observational sense of comedy about society. I have found that the best jokes that I like to tell come from myself. I joke about my weight, my upbringing, my money(or lack there of), my car, my family, my religion, and my heritage. All of these things provide a great sense of who I am and sometimes it just so happens that some of who I am makes some people laugh. Now whether this is in a positive manner or not I don't tend to care, because at the end of the day I am just trying to do what I need to do. The best advice I ever received from friends was that "You gotta do you, let them do them, but you just do you." Now although for some this is confusing and very ignorant sounding I find it quite true. If we all worried about ourselves and then after we take care of ourselves we help each other I think some people may be able to take better care of themselves.
Now this may sound a bit too prophetic to compare to comedy, but this is the point I am trying to make. Comedy to me is just like reading inspirational/self-help novels. The best comedy is the type that makes you think. And if you watch a movie or special that leaves you with a spotlight of insight into how you might lead a better life then that comedian should be considered one of the greats. I say this because when you think about it they made you laugh and they made you feel uplifted. That is incredible to me. This is not the business for the old class clown. It is the world of an artist.
I am not saying in any way that I am an artist, nor am I saying that I have the power to inspire. I know or believe I don't. This is just the way I am. I merely just try to help those around me out by getting a smile or a chuckle from them. That's all I do, and all I want to do.

Over-analytical To The Max

I laugh at myself for this all the time, but I over think everything. In life I find it best to be that way so that I become more knowledgeable and more observational. It has some pros with it to battle the definite cons. A definite pro is that I notice things that often go unseen or unknown. This allows me to help in team work and productivity in nearly any medium. I also can dissect tasks and objects quicker than most. This is what helps me so much with scholarly analysis and identifying probable symbolism. It also helps with unfamiliar situations. I can accommodate variable change with probable outcomes due to the factors of a certain situation. This is how I deal with high stress and high intensity situations. This is how I usually try to neutralize situations between people. I really just play a game of mental chess with everyone involved and once they lose they let their guard down. And it's sad to say but I am only this way because of the usually bad luck I have. If something is possible to go wrong it will find it's way right to me. So paperwork gets lost, assignments are misplaced, and things are forgotten usually regarding me. It seems to be a family trait, according to my father. So maybe this is why I tend to over think, to protect myself. It's a way to conquer the trend of my luck.

These Movies In My Brain

I sometimes get these vivid daydreams and possible occurrences of situations I have been through or may go through. It really seems as if they are fully edited movie reels in my mind that pan out possible outcomes so I know what to expect in any given situation. These outcomes range from incredibly good to my life is near it's end for any situation. The weirdest ones that occur more frequently than not are the ones that are spot for spot accurate to actual human experience, rarely even verbatim speech.
Some examples of this would be my first few job interviews. I played them out time and time again in my head all wanting them to go well and for me to walk away with a new job yet it never happened. The one time I force myself not to play it out, ironically enough, I got that job and had it for exactly one year. Other times would be when I am meeting someone for the first time that I have prior knowledge of, such as parents, extended friends and family, and school/work related higher order. These recreations I cast in my mental cinema usually work up the worst sort of nerves about the intensity of situations. I cause some serious anxiety and paranoia in myself for that simple reason sometimes.
The scary part about this problem is how sometimes these figments of my imagination take on a uniquely lifelike quality and make it difficult to decipher whether they are true or not. This has happened a time or two. It mainly happens when I am tired during stressful moments and I cannot recall certain specifics. This is when I tend to fill the gaps with new details. I cannot control this. It worries me.

Just Another

As I spend another night with out a single thing to do

Cept' writin down this music I precede to bring to you

My man Billy hit me up he got some weed he bringin through

Tell him better be that good and grab a pack of swishers too

That's what usually happens Deserve some cool relaxin

Smokin herb and laughin at Curb Your Enthusiasm

I'm just a regular kid at my crib doin regular shit burnin 5 spliffs

I'm so high another night alone so I'm a pour another cup and roll another zone

I'm gone you ain't gonna bring me back

So gone couldn't tell you where I'm at

Maybe New York, Philly, maybe Pittsburgh

You wanna find me hit me on Twitter

Well that sound mad lame

People love me they don't even know my last name

Waitin at the station till it's time that I can board the train

Headin to the fortune fame should explore my brain

See what I'm thinkin bout, pour a little liquor then I drink it down

Cause it's just another night on my own layin back as I light up my dro

It's just another night alone... I spend another night alone

Said cause it's just another night on my own layin back as I light up my dro

It's just another night alone... I spend another night alone

This is the song Another Night by Mac Miller. I have such a calming connect to this song. The song offers a guitar melody to compliment the lyrics that drive the plot of this lyrical masterpiece. The guitar was recorded by Mac himself, which is impressive. The instrumentation of typical rap is all digital, if it is not a band feature, so for Mac to actually record the parts is impressive. Maybe the deal with it is the fact that the song offers many layers of tonal mixing that give a clean mellow sound. This can really add to the lyrics that he used for it. The instrumentation itself nearly makes you drowsy and relax you. 

The lyrics offer this sort of melancholy tail of a lonely evening. Then they introduce the mindset of a typical smoker. The enjoyment of a chilled out night smoking and enjoying life. This sort of mode is complemented by the offshore types of mental displacement that one may suffer from while under the influence. 

This song makes me want to open my mind to the furthest extent I can. I want to experience a sense of floating while I enjoy the music that I so love. I want to feel the songs through a loud and powerful stereo. I want the melodies to blanket me with warmth, while the lyrics feed me sweet nutrient. I need something to do this for me. Whether the music itself allows me or the power of a stereo I want this experience. 

Sometimes I feel weird when I spend time alone at night. When I sit in my room alone I can nearly create this ideal that I am all alone in this whole world. This thought scares me, and this is why I tend to stay with people. I am not sure how I can create this state of mind in my processing, but it happens I instill fear in myself for it. Maybe I can conquer this by expanding my mind, my horizons, and considering an alternative. Maybe I am supposed to be the only one. Maybe I am supposed to use that for personal creativity. Maybe just maybe. 

I'll be honest I have smoked before. I am not endorsing the act of illegal use. I am merely suggesting that maybe that it may be the one thing we need sometimes to unlock more to ourselves when we feel locked up in our own bodies. We need to unlock the soul from the cell of contempt that is everyday life. I don't believe in its power to solve all problems with the world, however I believe for some it sure can help gain some momentum on helping the individual. I support legalization and research into it. It offers something for everyone, POTentially.

My Kind Of Luck, I Guess

So in my life, I have taken a seemingly different direction to find love than most males. In a sex obsessive society, I was looking for the person to share the world with. I couldn't seem to believe all the people that I would befriend and then end up in a position known only as the "Friend Zone." This is the most suckish place to be in a friendship. I find the beautiful person that people tend to hide within themselves and I fall for that person. They never want to show their true colors. This has happened on several occasions..
The first memorable occasion was with my friend Clare. Clare and I had been in school together from kindergarten through eighth grade and we had the best friendship. I at the time was very new to the idea of a relationship when I told her about my feelings. It happened to be around seventh grade. I was so nervous and she took it the totally wrong way and I was absolutely crushed. I would eventually get over it and we would remain friends even today. She goes to the University of Wooster in Ohio and studies Poly Sci.
The next moment of this happening was my friend Sarah. I met her my freshman year of high school. She was this small little sheltered girl that I noticed in nearly all my classes. She was quite smart for the level of intelligence that I saw more commonly in all of my classes. So I befriended her very quickly and the feelings mounted in the same fashion. I was upfront this time. I told her flat out that I liked her and she very quickly confronted me back with the fact that she liked me except for my weight and my looks. Now, as a fourteen year old boy I was put down, but more fiery than the feeling of sadness was this overwhelming feeling of spite. Now the feelings I had for Sarah would go through periods of swelling. At times I had little to no feelings for her and at other times it was as though I needed her like a cocaine addict needs a line of blow. This would continue until my junior year. Again, a similar situation, we still remain good friends. We talk mostly when we are home, but we usually keep in loose contact during the regular semester.
The next event is my friend Katie. This is the wreck loose. My junior year I was in band playing at an away game near Murfreesboro, TN and during a cadence in the stands I slipped. When I slid, my leg lost support and my weight pressed on my knee. And in doing this my leg was dislocated. Well on the way to the hospital there was this total spaz in the backseat of the band booster's car and she was talking to me trying to take my mind off of what was happening. Well later we started talking and the feelings of course started growing. And I told her and she very politely told me that she wasn't very interested. But...But! She then over the course of the next several months finds a way to date all of my closest guy friends. So, I took this as a total lie to my face. I confronted her about it and was correct even. So she later would come around to the idea of me and even approached me herself telling me how much she missed me after I went off to college. Yet even then, it wasn't a week and she had a boyfriend. Am I supposed to take that seriously? We haven't talked since this time.
Lastly, there is my friend Megan. I knew her for about two years before anything transpired between us. We were close friends for several months and then we ended up having all the same classes our senior year, and we worked together all year and that closeness just got to me and I fell for her like a rock. We went through several back and forth volleys of the possibility, but nothing ever happened. We remain good friends and still talk nearly daily. We talk about the possibility of being together more now than when we saw each other everyday. Somehow, I see her being the one too. She is such a comfort factor for me that I want to at least experience being with her before I cannot. She is mixed, and they say that race shouldn't play a role in it but to me it only attracts me more. I can honestly say this, I am attracted to that girl through her soul and cannot seem to shake the idea of her being my one. This is said, while I currently date someone here at my school. Megan is different. Megan makes me feel like I am hers without saying a word. There is a chemistry to her that is purely existent through her body language.
On that note, I currently date an amazing girl. Her name is Chelsea and she is far more intelligent than I will ever be. That attracted me from the start and it still binds me up. She is very driven and motivated in everything she does and I find that to be especially unique about her. She has taught me so much about relationships that I was miscommunicated in my first relationship. She is an angel. I owe her the world for fixing me.

My ex.(I will apologize now for some...harsh, vulgar language.) I met her my freshman at a football game. She was cute and adorable. We talked for years through text and phone conversations. It was always on and off with her. We would talk for a bit and then stop. All the while I had not seen her since that game. SO I decided to talk to her one night and just spontaneously asked if I could come see her. So I drove to her house and we talked for hours. I got there at around seven maybe at night and I didn't leave till maybe two, with school the next morning. After we talked, I kissed her and left. We started talking and I went and saw her more and more. We finally started going out in about April of 2013 and it was fine and great. I was experiencing my first "real" relationship. I put everything I had into that girl. I told her everything, I spent every minute with her, and I tried to be a support for her with what she was going through in school and at home. I felt great with her. Well we got a bit too close later on. She ended up in the end using me for her personal benefits while she cheated on me with her ex. I thought I could forgive her for this. And I really tried to forgive her. That is until it happened a second time and when I found out the second time it just so happened that she never stopped before and actually started cheating on me with another guy as well. So I left the situation. The next day started my hell. I received messages from her and her other threatening me that they were going to find me and my family. They left the end to this very ambiguously open for interpretation I guess to seem tough. But, I took this all and kept it to myself until I would go places with friends and I would see them. Then I told my family. My family fully supported me and told me to invite them to the house. I feared them. I didn't know if they were on the next corner or in the next room from me. I remained paranoid for over two months until I came to college. Here I found refuge in new and old friends, along with a new surround. That cheating slut was never good enough. I did nothing wrong. I tried as hard as I could and she didn't ever appreciate that.

God...I thank my friends nearly everyday for being the people they are. Thank you.

Just Let Go

My bro-friend Andrew introduced me to the world of longboarding here a few years ago. He around the time had just purchased his own complete deck from a local skate shop near where he and I grew up. The idea I have gathered from it is that it is essentially skateboarding without the tricks. Longboarding is about the cruising and enjoyment of rolling. This is all me. I am all about getting out and enjoying cruising. I just didn't like pushing a board every few feet. This simple pushing gets more tiresome than one may think. The freedom of boarding is so gratifying for me. I love just rolling and not worrying about a single thing in the world. This video shows how the freedom really can be for the rider.

I dream of doing rides like this in the future. I want to be able to bomb hills and possible learn to slide around corners. The simple sight of this by other riders is amazing. I just want that sort of thrill and excitement.
This video is great. Simply just great. The editing on it is near perfection. Using calming songs with some exciting video footage is a good balance to add to a regularly intense activity. It is very calming to watch.

Just something that I should tell you.

Doc I Think I'm Crazy...

I recently made the decision to change my major to Secondary Education in English. This decision makes so much sense it is unbelievable that I really considered something else. The only problem I have is I do not want to deal with the problems I saw in high school. the behaviour issues and the performance issues were just pathetic. Metro Nashville has some the worst issues when it comes to student performance and behaviour in the nation. I don't have to go back there to teach, but they are the highest paying district in the state aside from Memphis. I have no interest in going to Memphis.
The solution I have is I want to make myself a perfect pick for the "Big Three" in Nashville. In Metro there are two academic magnet schools and one arts inspired enhanced option. Any of these schools would be a perfect fit for me. I do have a supreme pick, though. In downtown Nashville stands Hume-Fogg Magnet School. This school is a beautiful piece of historic culture for the city. As well, it plays a part in my family history. My father, uncle, cousins, and aunt and other uncle all went there. This school and these people are partly the reason why my parents met.

In any of the big three the issues of typical metro schools typically don't exist. So any of the three will suffice, but of course my hope is for this gem.
Here I can be inspired merely by the fact of going to work in the morning. Knowing I will walk into this building and have a classroom of students who want to learn, that is what I dream of. I think all teachers dream of this. I want to find ways to bring every form of art into this. I want movies, songs, paintings, and theatre. That is what makes a student learn. The connect to their world allows a student relate to it and apply it to more than just one aspect of life. I was given this toolkit in high school and I want to pass it on.
My mother thought I had went insane when I told her I wanted to change my major. She is a teacher; her school is not very far from Hume-Fogg. She went to school while I was in grade school and I watched every step of the process. This gives me a certain step up on school in my opinion, because I know what to expect about every part of it. She got a big wake-up call when she started. And I watched this. I know what some students with me do not have a clue about. Yet, in me I know I am potentially going to get the worst classes in the district yet even with that I am perfectly fine with calling myself a future teacher. I'm ready to take to the battlefield.

My Dreamscape

I tend to dream about my future because I find my present unfufilling sometimes. So I look at what I want later and not now. So far the greatest thing I have fathomed has been the home I want someday. The homes I like are usually all craftsman style homes. Luckily for me the area I am from and the area near my school is saturated with these homes. I am drawing inspiration from them every time I take a walk. I will take leisurely walks through the neighborhoods off campus just to gaze at these homes for ideas of what I want mine to look like.

This is one that I specifically keep an eye on in East Nashville. The asymmetrical front door seems a bit self-reflected which I like. The windows out front are broad and opening to the picture of outside or inside. The posts are few and depended on by the over hand of the front porch. And the window in the middle of the roof out front, which probably leads to a bedroom, is a wonderful accent that just makes this glimpse of happiness whole for me. 

I also look at possible cars or trucks that I may want. And instead of going out to buy some brand new overpriced something I am looking at finding an aged gem and restoring it for myself. I am looking currently at an old pickup truck, more than likely a Chevy.

This is my idea so far. A 1940 Chevrolet pickup with a two tone paint scheme would work perfectly. I just want something clean and fun to drive. This would certainly work for grocery getting and to an from work. I know it wont be absolutely perfect on gas, however I don't expect it to be. In all honesty, I hope I don't live all that far from my school that I will teach at. That truck makes me sad to see such beauty in automotive architecture be so non-existent nowadays.

In my home, I MUST have a drum kit. I have always wanted a kit for myself, and eventually I will make it happen. I have been a drum lover since about 6th grade. Along my path I learned a bit of how to play and how to learn(very important), yet I never had my own set. I have looked for years at sets and played many different kinds. I tend to stick to natural wood shells with material heads. It is the tone about a set that makes me picky. I do not like what most people do about a set. The tone is supposed to have a constant decay to it for most, however I want a definite attack and an immediate drop in the sound. This requires a fair bit of acoustic know-how to produce this quality.

This set here has been one that I have looked at for years now. I have played a few of them and although they are smaller drums their sound is deep and whole for me. Plus they are small, but that never meant that you cannot expand. I play on pairing these with a barrage of cymbals and other smaller instruments like bells, woodblocks, midi pads, and a cowbell for sure.

All of this just tips the iceberg of all the dreams I have for my future. I know I can accomplish them I just have to set out for them. I want the dog that is perfectly trained and well behaved. I want the warm home-cooked meal after a long day of work. I want the movies at night on the big plush couch. And I want the backyard barbecues on the weekends with friends and family. I want it. I want something to call my own, and I want to be proud of my own. I don't have much of that in my life now.

The Smell-scape

One more drink fool, will drown you 

Ooooh that smell 

Can't you smell that smell 

Ooooh that smell 

The lyrics to a Lynyrd Skynyrd song have probably never been used in this way but I will gladly do this for the satisfaction of the world. The smell of the interior of a coffee shop is the closest form of heaven I believe a human can reach. That smell truly unlocks doors for me. I can think more clearly and with far greater depth when I am near that well of aroma. The atmosphere in a coffee shop is not very intensive; it allows personal creativity to flow freely. The taste of a coffee shop, however, is independent to each one and has different selling points for each establishment. Some shops offer more quality driven drinks, whereas others focus on the quality of the beans themselves. A few shops can be found to offer good coffee, but more be a gem due to their edible offerings. The taste of a muffin or bagel with a good Sumatra roast is worth running fifteen miles for. I spent many a morning in high school in coffee shops doing homework and personal writing from booths and tables while I drank a few cups and snacked on some delectable treats.
Go try it for yourself!

I'm Not Religious, I Just Believe.

Today was Easter Sunday, and I went with my girlfriend to her mothers where we had a wonderful meal with her and some of her close friends. There at this meal I was asked about my beliefs. I paused for a while before answering this because I had to think about this question myself.

I was raised and educated by the Catholic denomination. I attended a Dominican Order grade school where I learned my basic subjects along with arts and religion. Religion was the least important factor to the school it seemed by the end of my time there. The people nor the school were really concerned with upholding the Catholic traditions or even just general Christian morals it seemed. The school was simply just a business front for the Church. The Church, itself, was constantly under question for usage of funding and allotment. Now besides the financial center of disfunction within this whole establishment, the doctrine taught and interpreted during my time was lost a bit by the way of observation. By this, I mean that what I was taught I would later find to be incorrect in accordance to traditional Catholic teachings. One such, example may be the fact that Catholic Church is supposed to be the most rigid in its word, so it will never be made relatable by modern society. This is supposed to protect the ideals of the denomination from constant warping due to new translation. However, in recent years the need for younger members of the Church has grown so vastly that they seem to have to join the 21st century in taking to social media and developing a modern day adaptation to the Holy Bible for younger generations. This alone has happened in the past few years with the new influx of leaders to the Church including the newest Pope. He himself has a Twitter among other social mediums. So needless to say I have faith based trust issues. 

So through this adverse exposure to religion I have developed a central idea of spirituality with a higher power that I just assume to be "God" and that assumption is the extent of my faith. I know that something/someone is there so I tend to think in Christian ways. 

The only problem with this is that some people, especially in the South, will not accept or understand this. So I typically generalize and label myself a Christian, but with a more Catholic faced upbringing. I have seen Atheists and Agnostics more accepted than some who label themselves as Spiritualists and Deists. This is atrocious to me; not because I think Atheists/Agnostics are wrong but because they are typically quicker to put faith down. Meanwhile, I just believe in a different way that is nearly the same as the average man..

The Power In My Hands.

My foot went to the floor. My hand held the shifter in place. I press in the clutch and down comes the shifter to second. I watch the needles climb those gauges in similar fashion. I look ahead and all around. I don't want hit anything, anyone, or get caught. I press in the clutch and shift up and to the right once. I drop the clutch hard as the gear grabs and jerks my head back into my head rest. I look to my right. The orange squatted opponent is right next to me. I hear the roar of my car and the whine of his. His is peaking in his shiftbox. I press that clutch again and pull the shifter straight back. He pulls ahead until my clutch drops back and then I pull right next to him. I notice he is topping out. The spedo reads about 67. I am calming down. No cops. No other cars. No kids. Just me, my car, and this guy. His automatic cannot hit any higher of an rpm for how fast his engine is pulling right now. My car is still climbing. It reads about 70 now and my car needs to shift. Alas, I press the clutch again. My hand presses up and to the right again. I am now in fifth gear. I am topping out. I don't look again after I see the needle move into the high 80's. I cannot see him anymore. I am flying. My heart is pumping harder than the injectors under the hood. I feel like I am in space, among the stars. He was nowhere to be seen. I beat him.

That was my account of the first and only street race I plan to ever be in. I raced my friend Taylor home from work one night in the middle of Rivergate in Nashville, TN. I had just started driving and was crazy and stupid. I won't ever do this again. The next week I was pulled over for speeding. I was clocked going 60 mph in a 30 mph zone. I was nearly charged with reckless driving. This event straightened me right up and I knew that I will live a lot longer to appreciate cars, engines, and performance if I take it a bit slower and enjoy my daily driving in a leisurely manner.
Cars, motors, and culture are essential to me at this point in my life. I love learning more about cars and their mechanics. I have so many varying tastes for cars that few understand me and what I won't like. I love imports and exotics. However, I was raised on and will always respect a piece of pure Americana with untarnished, unfiltered American Muscle. I own a busted up Honda and have plans for my near possibilities of what will come next.
The place I am at right now points me to a driving car. I don't want something for A to B driving, however that is a necessity to it. I want a car that after a long day of class I can jump in and feel like I am getting away when I set out down the highway. I want something fun to move. Currently my top contenders are a slightly modded Honda delSol or a lowered VW Beetle(60's-70's era). The Beetle is leading right now, despite my love of Hondas, because the VW will be a slow work in progress before completion and daily use. I will do work to it to make sure it is right where I want it. And that work will have to come from me, so it is a learning experience as well as a financial investment. Only time will tell I suppose.

Not Going To Be Another

This most recent semester of school I finally mustered up and got a tattoo. I had been planning several since even before high school and I was so excited to get one that I ended up passing out in the middle of the one(two) I got. Yes, that is the story I am going to stick with.

The tattoos themselves are my initials on my right wrist and a conglomerate of initials on my left. JRDW are the collective initials of my brother(Justin Douglas Williams), father(Ronald Dale Williams), uncle(James Douglas Williams Jr.) and grandfather(James Douglas Williams Sr.). I felt such a draw to this concept because even though they are people and people make mistakes, if it wasn't for these people and their mistakes and their lives I would not be the person I am now. I am but just the person they helped shape. 

You have to understand that the observationalist that I am notices how their lives have all had their positives and negatives. This being said I do not want to make the same negatives that they did. I want to experience my own pitfalls. 

My grandfather was by extension the greatest man on this Earth to me. He was a farm boy from Columbia, TN who served in the Navy during Korea and he worked his ass to the bone until the last years of his life. He did all this because he worshiped my grandmother. The ground with which she walked was blessed to him. He had the most intense capacity of love by any male I have ever seen. He sadly passed away in 2010 and left behind his wife and family to only observe that he was what kept the family close together. Once he was gone my grandmother took it upon herself to slander his name and drive herself in selfish pitty from others. As well, the family started to divide and move to new areas to explore options and life abroad. [I want the capacity of love but not the ungrateful love of my life.]

My uncle is the groundfloor representation of my brother. In his youth he was very "cool" and into the new and best sorts of things. He was trained to DJ on the radio and he loved cars. He has two very unique and vastly intelligent sons, as well as a prude of a wife. Within this marriage, he has lost all sense of who he is and he has lost his two sons to their need for distance from such a family household. [I want the cool but not the sad falling action.]

My father is the most incredible man that I can honestly say that for. He has always said that his father was much more incredible than he, but I have just a hard time believing that, although I do love and miss my grandfather. My father provides for his family in any way he can. He helps friends out in their time of need. He has limitless talent in art, carpentry, auto-mechanics, and his envisions. My dad is the model of a true man. I do have to say though that my father has not secured friends like he did in his younger years, however that may be due more to family. [I want the reputation, but with more friends.]

My brother.. My brother is a sad fellow. My brother has laid the path for me in school to make even the hardest hurtle seem like a cakewalk. He made the mistakes before me. He recently married a girl he met while in college who promises him one of the roughest lives he could ever have. In no way does that honestly seem like a good deal, but he made it so he has to live with it. He has great intonation in his decision making skills and his rational thinking. [I want the imagination, but nothing else.]

As I continue to watch these men, I am aware that I want the superhero qualities to these people. The only problem is I don't want to be a superhero; I just want to be me. I want to be the best that I can be. I just don't want to be another..

This Kid Is Going To Get Me Killed...

Now, as opposed to my best-friend Megan, I have a true "Bro" that I consider more family than my own brother. This insane kid's name is Andrew Lubomir Hnilica. He was in Cub Scouts with me as a youngster and he seemed to take to it fairly well. He was totally attracted to the dirt and muck that we seemed to get into diving into the lake at Boxwell(camp reserve). He was a maverick in this group of panzies. I knew this kid was going to be my friend. So later as it turns out his mom was a group leader and mine had been the pack leader for years and years, since my brother originally went through Cub Scouts.
We later held a friendship that seemed to grow and stabilize through the years. Until about sixth grade though, we were not as close as we would eventually become. Around this time, we would start to share many different commonalities. We had a few mutual friends who drove us to start getting into airsoft, and skating, eventually we would even get to both play guitar. Still to this day we both play guitar and he still skates, however I more admire the dedication he has for the sport while I try to attempt to re-enter the concrete wave.
Throughout middle school we had band together every morning and we both arrived usually early and ready to start something new. This landed us in a heap of trouble since we had outside practice on several different instruments. We both played guitar, we both would learn drums/percussion at different increments, and we both had a passion for ROCK! We identified through this. We would listen to new music that came out at the time.  We would both look into music that came from the prehistoric days of our parent's youth. We went to our first concert together. It was January of 2008 and Foo Fighters with Against me! came to Nashville's Municipal Auditorium. We stood in line that night for well over an hour to gain entrance finally after being searched and scanned for tickets. We fell in love with music this show. The amount of F-Bombs that Dave Grohl dropped, the insane drum solos that Taylor Hawkins laid down, and most importantly...THE MASSIVE TRIANGLE SOLO that transpired during the acoustic set. We were hooked on hard-rock from then on.

This here is the memory, in picture form, I have of my spring break during my freshman year of college. Andrew is sitting on a giant rock that is sticking out over the river that winds around the city of Knoxville, TN. That weekend I took away many different new feelings on how my life is going and how his has panned out for him as well. He, usually having the best luck, has had some decent luck getting through school and finding what really makes him happy. It seems so odd that the person who I thought was happy all the time was no longer in this position. I was on my way to taking this spot.

Well, regardless who carries on the track of luck I wish only the best for him in all he does. He deserves it. 

Thank You, MK!

"Ya see wha-wha happened is..." I met this girl. I was a freshman in a new school with ALL new people and I knew not a person who might even consider being friends with me. In about three of my classes I look over across the classroom and notice this girl in those select classes. I notice she has this close-knit community of friends who must have all went to middle school and even elementary before together. I was intimidated to even approach them.

I had just switched school systems from the small, quietly secluded and sheltered Nashville Catholic Parochial system to MNPS(Metro-Nashville Public Schools). And the gap of culture that I was branching seemed to gap not just a few miles but nearly another dimension. Because although I hated the kids who acted up in class, I was not prepared for the kids who act up in class with priors with court dates and court appointed anger management. 

This girl that I notice before me, although she cares a certain attitude, seems to be un-phased by the surrounding student body. Now I would soon find out her name, Megan, but I wouldn't really get to know her for another two years.

This is now, my dork of a best friend, Megan Kristen Neal. We really met our junior year in our 1 of 7 classes together. She surprised me for being the first person to take a true unbiased interest in me from the inception of this friendship. Across the next two years we would go to movies, work at the same place, go to prom together and both watch each other go to college. She is the most exclusively significant person in my life. We would explore discussion topics with each other that would normally seem so cut out for school that even we were surprised in each other for the amount of interest and personality we put into them for each other. This is one simple reason why Megan is significant to me. She can sit with me and have a conversation about anything and bring only herself in the conversation. This is increasingly difficult in people our age, and more rare in a friendship across the gender gap. 

Megan would introduce me to new music(always a win in my book), and she would push me to reach new heights unlike even my parents could. She understands me better than probably any person alive. This simple feat is why I owe her more than I can express in words. She has watched me go through so much, and watched what I am capable and still wears the title of my best-friend proudly across her chest. She's my everyday superhero.

Musiq 4 The SOUL

When I was quite young my father accidentally placed an old audio cassette in an incorrect case in his old pickup truck. A case for The Tractors held an old cassette from the group/collective Earth, Wind, & Fire, I suspect it was a greatest hits recording. He, while trying to focus on the road, slid this cassette in the tape deck of his stereo in that pickup and it picked up right before the song "September" began. The song blared through those speakers and startles us have to death. He was especially startled at this point, because he realized he had the wrong tape in the stereo. However, before he could stop the song he wanted me to listen to some of what this group had to offer me, a child of probably about six years in about the year 2000. We listened to what I would learn to be songs such as: "Let's Groove," "Fantasy," and "Shining Star." This music would forever reveal to me the meaning and understanding of the concept of music's feeling. This meaning that I was on the verge of learning how to draw the feeling of music from a song. This feeling is what can truly make the potential of music worth listening to for me.

-This song, "That's The Way of The World," I later found to be a true testament to this attribute to soulful music. Songs such as this one are what makes the name for the genre 'Soul.' Soul and R&B are the go-to music for me whenever I need those moments of slow motion and meditation throughout my day. It is my prayer, seeing as how I am not the most religious person. The characteristic of these genre's styling is slow and intrinsic to align with my inner peace. This is something I need. This 'apple-a-day' prescription that I self-medicate with has become quintessential to my college career. After a long day of class, I come back to my room crank up some hard rock or rap/hip/hop and then slowly calm my intensity and set a groove in to soulful music of this past century. I fill my life with the likes of Curtis Mayfield, EWF, Marvin Gaye, Donnny Hathaway, Al Green, and occasionally Luther Vandross. This may seem surprising to some who were around to watch the careers of such entertainers develop, to others it is an array of blissful ignorance. This music seems to be untouched nowadays with such influxes of synthesizers, auto-tune, and digital sampling. I tend to look back to groundbreaking instead of newer game changing. My theory has always been that it's one thing to change something, but it was another game to derive that game from nothing.

Meditative Musical Selections:
"What's Goin' On"-Donny Hathaway(Marvin Gaye Cover)
"Sexual Healing"-Marvin Gaye
"Fantasy"-Earth, Wind & Fire
"Move On Up"-Curtis Mayfield

Relatable Blurb:

Justin Timberlake recently released the song "Take Back The Night" on his most recent album 20/20. The song features an "old-school" style with its use of slow but dance inspired rhythms. The song sounds phenomenal alone with great bass sound and high tweeting. However, the song is nearly identical to that of the song "Never Too Much" by Luther Vandross. The flow of the melodic vocals and the base support of the band makes a very trivial case as to the credibility of Timberlake's new release.

Just A Fever

Disco is one of those things that I really don't know why I have a passion for it so much. I think that my love for it comes from movies that my parents made me watch when I was little so that I may understand them more. My parents and aunts and uncles were all dancers, apparently. This makes for quite the funny anecdote for friends and good moments of black mail when they try to embarrass me. However, I embrace this about my family. I love that they had this sort of youthful spirit when they were close to my age, and I'm just an immensity jealous that they were able to encounter such youth during this time in music.
-This clip is from the popular variety show "SoulTrain" and it features a line dance to the popular song, Jungle Boogie by Kool & The Gang. This song is one of my favorite from the era and I absolutely love to find it hidden in movies, videos, small corners of coffee shops, etc. It is one of those tunes that I can hear and be instantly lifted by it. It makes you just want to move.

-This clip is of a performance by Average White Band, with their hit "Pick Up The Pieces." This song I think has a deep draw to movies, specifically Undercover Brother and maybe even Roll Bounce. This song also has that slight characteristic that makes me want to get up off my behind and just move. I could clean my room and feel good about it just because of this song.
Many more songs just like these two have made their way to my ears and I have enjoyed nearly every attack of pitch and note that they have to offer just because they are of this genre. Disco has always seemed to be my small quirk that I have and cannot help but own up to wholeheartedly. I have a love for hearing it, dancing to it, and performing disco. Too bad I am only about...forty years too late for that movement.

Suggested other tracks of this feel of music:
-Ladies Night-Kool & The Gang
-Flashlight-Parliament
-Give Up The Funk-Parliament
-Get The Funk Out Ma Face-The Brothers Johnson
-Stayin' Alive-The Bee-Gee's